This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Randomize
