it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
