Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
