Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
