is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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