Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
