I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
