every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Too much gin, very little bucket
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
