Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?

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(212): View more from New York

I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.

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(416): View more from Ontario

don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends

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(212): View more from New York

all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me

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(864): View more from South Carolina

You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren

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