So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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