We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
