but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
