i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
