I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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