saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
