i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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