I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize