does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize