Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
