Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
