are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
