he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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