The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
4 words: hood of his car
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
