his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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