I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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