What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize