idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Operation Purity has been aborted
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
