I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
