Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
