We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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