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so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
