so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize