He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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