Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
