we have officially lost it.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Two words: blizzard sex
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
