do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
