some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
