hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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