did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
