if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
