like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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