Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Randomize
