Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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