i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize