3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize