so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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