Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
