3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize