Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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