So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
