so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
