No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
