I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
don't judge my taste in strippers
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
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