it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
