I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
