i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
you inspire me to be a worse person
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
