i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
