Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
