so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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