the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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