Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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