Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
