Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
