it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
sarcasm needs its own font
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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